SITEMAP
|
| Jack: |
It's not funny. It's sophomoric and mindless
and dumb. |
| Anne: |
Then why the hell do we watch it all the time? |
| Jack: |
Because it makes me feel good to see how not funny
it is and how America doesn't know the first thing about funny
which makes it easier not being a famous funny TV celebrity
because that would mean that I'm not really talented. |
| Jack: |
It's important to think. It's what separates
us from the lentils. |
| Anne: |
Didn't you say that what you liked about our
relationship is that we didn't have to think? We could just be
there for each other. |
| Jack: |
A suicidal paranoiac would say anything to get
laid. |
| Parry: |
There are only three things in this world ya
need. Respect for all kinds of life, the love of another
person who you can trust and pork on a regular basis...and a nice
navy blazer. |
| Parry: |
They work for him, and so do
I. |
| Jack: |
Him? |
| Parry: |
God, I'm the janitor of God. |
| Parry: |
They [the little people] came to me about a year ago. I was
sitting on the john having one of those really satisfying bowel
movements--you know the one's that border on mystical. |
| Anne: |
I don't believe that God made man in his image.
Cos most of the s*** that happens comes from man. Now I
think man was made in the Devil's image. And women were
created out of God. Cos after all, women can have babies,
which is kind of like creating. And which also counts for
the fact that women are so attracted to men, cos let's face it, the Devil is a hell of a lot more interesting! So the
whole point in life is for men and women to get married...so that
God and the Devil can get together and work it out. |
| Jack: |
There is no Holy Grail. |
| Parry: |
Oh, Jack, ye of little faith. There has to be
a grail. What were the Crusades -- a Pope's publicity stunt? |
| Parry: |
You're a real honest to goodness good guy. |
| Jack: |
I'm self-centered, I'm weak -- I don't have the
will power of a fly on s***. |
| Parry: |
That's why the little people sent you. Just
like magic. |
| Jack: |
I don't believe in little floating people!
THERE IS NO MAGIC! |
| Jack: |
You can't do this! This is New York!
Nobody lies naked in a field in New York. It's...it's too
Midwestern. |
| Parry: |
Come on, try it. Ya feel the air on your body
-- ya little fella's flappin' in the breeze... |
| Jack: |
Did you lose your mind all at once, or was it a
slow, gradual process? |
| Parry: |
Behold my magic wand and release your
golden orbs! |
| Lydia: |
Listen, I'm not feeling well. |
| Parry: |
Well, no wonder. We just met, made love and
broke up all in the space of thirty seconds and I can't even
remember the first kiss which is the best part. |
| Parry: |
I'm not coming up to your apartment. That was
never my idea. |
| Lydia: |
Oh...you mean you don't want to. |
| Parry: |
Oh no, I want to. I've got a hard-on for you
the size of Florida. But I don't want just one night. I
have a confession to make. |
| Lydia: |
You're married. |
| Parry: |
No. |
| Lydia: |
Divorced. |
| Parry: |
No, I... |
| Lydia: |
You have a disease. |
| Parry: |
Will you stop! I'm in love with you. |
| Jack: |
Where would King Arthur be without Guinevere? |
| Parry: |
Happily married, probably. |
|
